frustration when trying to communicate their needs or wishes. Consequently, they vent the best way they know how - temper tantrums. For parents of toddlers, knowing how to handle tantrums is essential. Dr. Harvey Karp, a board-certified pediatrician, associate professor of pediatrics at UCLA School of Medicine and the author of the book and DVD The Happiest Toddler on the Block, offers advice on understanding your toddler and how to stop your child's temper tantrum in seconds. When children throw temper tantrums, adults often try to approach them in a calm, soothing voice. Instead, Dr. Karp suggests you talk to your toddler on his level in a primitive and almost prehistoric type of language, what Dr. Karp calls "toddler-ese." Capturing a toddler's attention during a temper tantrum can be difficult, which is why Dr. Karp says you need to be as energetic and dramatic as your child is being. To communicate with your child in toddler-ese, Dr. Karp suggests the following:

• Short phrases,
• Tons of repetition,
• A passionate tone of voice, and
• Exaggerated facial expressions and body gestures.

Follow the fast-food rule, says Dr. Karp. Repeat back the demands your toddler is making so that he feels he is being respected and heard. For example, if your toddler is upset because he can't watch another video, repeat back to him, "Watch, watch, watch, Blues Clues. Blues Clues, watch?" Once your toddler calms down a bit you can offer him the video or find something else to distract him. You may need to repeat his request several times before getting his attention.

Other ways to avoid temper tantrums:

• Know your child's limits; avoid taking your child out if he is hungry or tired.
• Steer clear of temptation isles in grocery stores with toys or candy that your child will desire.
• Distract your child. Take advantage of your child's short attention span by offering another item for the coveted object or beginning a new activity to replace the frustrating or forbidden one.
• Give your child challenges within reach when playing or learning a new game. If he is successful, he will encounter less frustration as he master new games and toys.
• Consider your child's request carefully when he wants something. Is it outrageous? If not, choose your battles. Try to be accommodating when possible.
• Other experts recommend ignoring the tantrum and letting your child vent. When he is calm, talk to him about how you know he wants your attention, but shouting and crying is not the best way to gain your attention.

Most parents may have the knee-jerk reaction to punish a child after throwing a tantrum, especially one that might embarrass the parent in a public place. The AAP does not advise punishing a tantrum, but they do not encourage parents to give in to a child when he has a tantrum.

Each child may respond to different approaches of managing his tantrums. Find one way that works for both of you and be consistent. If you receive scornful looks in the grocery store for your three-year-old's tantrum, remember the person staring probably doesn't have children. Most people who have children will sympathize with you, unless you lose your cool. Remember to keep your own temper in check. If the tantrum is out of control, don't be afraid to leave the grocery cart and take your child out of the situation.

For more information on how to handle temper tantrums, check out the following resources:
The Happiest Toddler on the Block, Dr. Harvey Karp
Everything Parent's Guide to Tantrums, by Joni Levine, M.Ed.